At least I am a black belt in talking

My two childhood fantasies: being in Dragon Ball Z and being a ninja.

What do those have in common?

They involve kicking people’s ass.

So when I saw this ad for karate class offered at the YMCA, I realized this is my chance to make those dreams come true. Of course, they can’t teach me how to fly, but at least now my friends will think twice about pissing me off.

I went to the first trial class last night. I kind of liked it because we got to stand in front of the mirror for an extended period of time.

You know how in movies they always tell you that “we learn martial arts not to fight, but to help people, blah blah blah…” Not these guys. This is a typical conversation from last night—“you don’t want to block like that, because if you are attacked from above with a club or a bottle, you will still get hurt…” or “in a street fight, ...” Obviously, these guys take a practical approach to martial arts.

I like that. If I am a black belt, I am pretty sure I will be beating people up on a regular basis. You might as well.

But now that I have been to a class, I also realized my own limitations. The instructor demonstrated a punch. It was so hard that I thought he would crack the wall. If one of these landed on me, there is no chance that I would survive. Maybe I am not meant to be a fight, and I should leave it that way…